


Dear Coach

by NegansReader



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Walking Dead Fusion, Dom Negan (Walking Dead), F/M, Gentle Negan (Walking Dead), Jealous Negan (Walking Dead), Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Sexy Negan (Walking Dead), Sweet Negan (Walking Dead), Teacher Negan (Walking Dead), The Sanctuary (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:00:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27379861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NegansReader/pseuds/NegansReader
Summary: Back then, before the apocalypse, you knew him as Coach Negan. Now you know him as Negan. Now you're Negan.
Relationships: Negan (Walking Dead) & Original Female Character(s), Negan (Walking Dead)/Original Character(s)/Reader, Negan (Walking Dead)/You
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for all the misspellings there might be. English is not my first language, but I try.

"I'm curious" he said to you, with an amused voice tone that made you arch your eyebrows "How did someone like... You... Survived all of this?" continued the tall and dark aired man, his eyes running through your, now, grown up women body.

"Someone like me?" you asked "You mean... A fat and disgusting girl like me?" an upset laugh escaped your lips, you couldn't contain your disgust looking at him, even knowing that he could easily smash your head with his barbwire wrapped bat "I'm not that girl anymore" you added, glaring at him.

"I can see that, darling" he replied looking at you, jokingly "Running away from the dead did its job" you could see he was trying to mock you, to mock your body. And that, again, his eyes ran through your body, this time with a mischievous smile on his lips. You were just disgusted by him.

Your face made a grimace. You were holding yourself not to tell him what a jerk he was. What a jerk he was at that moment and back in the days. What a jerk he had always been to you, and how disgusted you were to be again on his presence. Probably your expression was saying everything your mouth couldn't, and by now, that was enough.

"Don't be like that" he continued, walking around you. Your hands were tied on your back, with a plastic bridle around your wrists. There was no way you could scape, not alive. You couldn't defend yourself after all. "I just want to know your story" you had no idea of why he had that interest in knowing what happened to you. Things had changed a lot in these years, where you lived, and where you knew each other for in the past, was all gone.

"You were there" you answered, remembering that day.

"I wasn't" his voice sounded upset for a second, looking at you in the eyes. You knew he was starting to lose his patience "That day... I wasn't"

You sighed a little tired by the situation but looked back at him again, and clicked your tongue out of exasperation. Out of patience too. "Alright coach" an irritated smile appeared on your face "You asked for it".

. . .

Carrying a couple of heavy chairs, you walked toward the truck. It was nearly full, but still with room for some cans of food which you had in your pockets, and threw them into the truck "Hey babe, careful with that food" he told you, grabbing the last one from your hand "Hmm chocolate pudding" he mumbled, and looked at you with that arrogant grin that made you feel mad "Surely you haven't eaten one of these in a long time" he laughed a little shaking the can under your nose.

You rolled your eyes "I never liked chocolate pudding".

"Oh, fucking sure you did!" he replied raising his voice, laughing, attracting everyone's gaze to you two. A few of the Saviours smirked and laughed, and then he leaned towards you "You think I forgot how fat your ass was?" you arched your brows. He smirked, looking directly at you, his tongue pocking out in between his lips, with that mischievous, yet cute grin.

"I was more of donuts than pudding" you replied, pulling away Negan's hand from you, and walked past him, back to Grimes's house. You knew he did all that to drive you mad, probably to see your reaction, to see how far you could go if he made you lose control of your emotions. But thank god you had your temper under control. And of course, you weren't going to let him see you mad because of his body shaming jokes.

Although it was your decision to be with the Saviours, that didn't mean you were agreed with Negan's way of doing things. But as always you did what you had to survive, and that’s why you chose Negan in the end. Thanks to him you were in a safe place, with food and certain amenities that were hard to get being alone. It wasn't perfect, but you were alive.

Even if that meant you had to spend time with Negan, your high school coach. He was cruel and a jerk to you when you were sixteen and in your last year of high school. And now he was a jerk and cruel to you in the apocalypse, eight years later. Sometimes you couldn't help and wonder if all of that was worth it. But the answer never really reached your head.

You weren't that lonely fat girl from high school anymore, even if Negan always tried to make you feel like that. You were now a strong woman, in all means. You survived, nearly alone.

. . .

"Hey, curvy babe"

You nearly jumped at hearing his amusing voice tone. You felt his body brush against yours, and your eyes reached his. Negan's dark eyes, always looking at you, up and down. But you never knew what was on his mind.

"Don't call me that" you asked shacking your head.

"Don't be so nasty" Negan replied, raising his lower lip in a disgust grimace "I brought you a present" he smirked, and for your surprise, he took out a box of chocolate cookies "I know it’s not donuts... But... They're close"

Your eyes narrowed, waiting.

"What?"

"No fat-shaming comment?" you asked, suspiciously. Then he put the cookie's box in your hands, with an exasperated sigh. Negan wasn't a patient person, nor someone whom you could say "no".

"Just fucking take them" his voice sounded upset, and you held the cookie's box, still confused by the whole situation. But you kept looking at each other, in some kind of stare fight "Don't eat them all at once" he said. Here it comes, you thought "These are hard to get"

That left you even more confused. You opened your mouth to say something. But were interrupted by Dwight. You looked back at the cookie's box, but listening to their conversation about Dixon.

"I could do it" you interrupted them, looking at Negan and Dwight "I could take over your duties, while you are out" you told Dwight, and looked at Negan "I really can do it" you assured.

"I recall you weren't too good at dealing with guys like Dixon" Negan laughed. Dwight stayed silent, observing you. You had a good relationship, just mates, of course, he was nice to you, and helped you. Dwight was a good man.

"I've gained a lot of experience dealing with guys like Dixon" you answered with a mischievous smirk, looking at Negan, and licked your lower lip slowly. Provoking a small and naughty smile on Negan's lips, who looked at you almost pleased, but a little... Bothered? "Alright then" Dwight looked at you both, and nodded "Let our curvy girl do the dirty job" he grinned, so wide you could see all his teeth.

"Thank you" said Dwight to you, and you shrugged your shoulders.

Dwight left, leaving you two alone, and Negan leaned towards you. You could feel his masculine scent, even the warmness of his body "If you don't do a good job..." he mumbled, just a few centimetres away from your face "... I'll have to punish you" you gulped, nervously... Nervously because of his threat? Or nervously because of how close he was?

"Don't make me spank your big ass... If I do it... I want to do it for pleasure... Not to punish you" his fingers stroked your chin, slowly. Even sensually. You couldn’t take your eyes away from him.

He was the snake. You the little mouse, hypnotized by his charms. But then you blinked. He pulled his fingers away from you with a soft stroke... In your cheeks even appeared a small blush.

"Give Dixon some food, but not real food... You know what I mean" he said coldly and harshly, and walked away from you.

“Yeah” you replied. Still pretty shocked by his words… What did just happen?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the misspellings there might be. English is not my first language, but I try.

Back in high school you were that lonely and fat girl everyone enjoyed mocking of.

No, your high school years weren't something you liked to think about. They were even harder than that apocalyptic world you had to live in now. AT least you could just smash the walker's head, just like you wished you could've done with these cheerleaders and jocks. Being honest the apocalypse was, probably, the best thing to happen to you. Even if you died, it would still be better than live your old life.

You always felt like a walking cliche. You had no brothers nor sisters, your dad was an alcoholic, and your mum left with a guy ten years younger than her, and the only thing you knew of her was that she was living in California now. And you knew that by the checks she used to send you, and that impersonal handwritten note, were she would tell you to keep studying. Sometimes a photo, too, of her and her bikini body roasting in the sun on a deck chair by the pool of her fantastic house.

Why she left? Probably because you weren't her ideal daughter. You were not in the standards of beauty. She wanted a cheerleader daughter. And probably a husband that looked like Brad Pitt, and not like Harvey Weinstein.

At the start of the apocalypse your father died, bitten by a walker.

Sometimes you wondered if he would be still wandering around your old house. But you never contemplated the idea of coming back. And your mum, well, she was kilometres away from you when all started. For you she was dead, and the idea of travelling across the entire country to find her never came through your mind. You survived alone.

In high school years, even Negan was a little different. But just because he couldn't smash anyone's head with a bat, although he probably sometimes did wanted to. But his way of saying things were the same. That arrogant smirk, that ironic tone and how you felt around him. All was the same.

Needless to say, you weren't good at PE. And you knew him as Coach Negan, not only Negan, and didn't called yourself Negan. To be honest you find him disgusting, always being nasty to you in front of everyone in class when you weren't fast enough or good enough in the class activities. Calling you "fat ass", and mocking you in front of all your classmates. The worst part was that the other teachers, even the Director knew about Negan's behaviour, but nobody never said anything to him. The reason? He was the football coach and made the football school team win countless of times, which gave the school some kind of prestige. So obviously Coach Negan was untouchable.

When you remember how he flirted with the cheerleaders, and the way he behaved like he was some kind of god or sex symbol, just like now. Makes you cringe in disgust.

He never noticed you. He just called you "fat ass", but never by your name. That’s why you were surprised when he recognised you back then in Hilltop. He called you by your name and told Simon to take you to the Sanctuary. That asshole of Gregory didn't even complained about that. Yes, you weren't a teen anymore. You were now 24. And you were 23 when Simon took you to the Sanctuary against your will. Just a year had passed. And you still had so many questions for Coach Negan.

“Coach…” you mumbled, sitting in a chair next to Dixon's cell door.

"Yes" Negan's amused voice answered. You jumped a little surprised. You were so into your thoughts that didn’t even noticed he was walking towards you. "Were you thinking about me?" he asked you with an amused and satisfied grin on his face, with that arrogant look on his eyes.

"Yeah... I was having a daydream nightmare" you replied rolling your eyes and shacking your head.

Negan’s lip let scape a small laugh and kept looking at you "You're full of resentment and anger towards me..." well he was not wrong "Aren't you a little spiteful?" when you looked at him, frowning, he laughed "You always say you're not the same girl" he leaned towards the wall next to you "Yet, you live in the fucking past darling".

When he leaned on the wall, on his side, his crotch was just like in front of your face, you turned it to the other side, listening to him, and finally stood up. Nervously, and looked at him "How would I forgive my dear coach? Who mocked me and made my life a completely hell?" you asked, with that ironic and upset voice tone, crossing your arms in your chest, in a defensive pose.

"So, you were thinking about me" he smirked, even biting his lower lip, and licking it afterwards "That’s part of my charm darling... You hate me then you want me" he laughed, but didn't seem to be joking.

"I-- I don't want you" you answered rapidly.

He laughed again, like if he didn’t believed you "Your fat inner teen wants me" you saw him lean towards you "And your strong woman exterior... Wants me too" you shuddered at the touch of Negan's fingers on your cheek. And saw, by the corner of your eye, how he touched your hair, and then looked back again at his eyes.

"I never... Wanted you" you mumbled "Nor when I was fat" you gulped "Not now that I'm a strong woman" a small smirk appeared on your face "You preferred cheerleaders back then..." your hand pushed him by the chest, pulling him away, firmly but even gently, feeling his warm under your hand "So go find yourself a cheerleader, coach Negan" you finished with an annoying tone.

He laughed under his breath, looking at you, standing tall, and his tongue pocked between his lips. His dirty and naughty gaze ran through your body "Jealousy looks good in you" he said, and you let a small grunt scape your lips, and he continued "But you know... I've always been more of... Big girls..." you flushed, he noticed that, and smirked even wider.

You pushed the button that turned in the music, that filled the aisle you two were in, in a deafening way. You walked towards him and your lips reached his ear, you in your tiptoes "Sorry coach, I'm not into old men" you whispered on his hear, letting he feel the warmth of your breath, and even pressed your body a little against his. Then you separated from him, and grinned "I was more into Professor Hoskins" you stated, seriously, and laughed at his face.

"Hoskins?" he scoffed, watching you walk away "He was bald!" you heard him yell at you, but you just laughed silently, shaking your head, and kept walking down the aisle.

. . .

"Hey!" you ran a little towards Dwight, reaching him "How did it go?" you asked standing in front of him.

He just shrugged his shoulders and sighed, trying to hide his disappointment from you "Couldn't find her" he finally replied. And when you looked at each other, you felt he was relieved, because if he had found her, you both knew what would happen.

"She would be fine, she's strong" you tried to cheer him up, and your hand squeezed his arm, friendly, trying to make him feel a little better.

"How's Dixon?" asked Dwight.

"The same than when you left" you answered, shrugging.

"I don't think he'll change his mind" he mumbled, and you knew he was telling you this in confidence.

You sighed "He's loyal to Grimes... Can't blame him for that" they were friends, and if he preferred to die instead of betraying his family, Dixon was worth everyone's admiration. Not everyone was capable of that. People normally preferred his own lives, instead of the ones who were their friends or family.

"I'll go see him" Dwight started walking and you followed him, just accompanying him.

The closer you were getting to the aisle were Dixon was, the louder the music was heard. You hated that song. You had work to do too, so you stopped and looked up at him "You know Dwight, if you need anything..." he had helped you so much you wanted to do something for him "Or just to talk" maybe he needed to get some things out of his chest, and she wouldn't tell anyone, not even to the 'big man'.

Your hand squeezed his shoulder, comforting him and then you walked away. You had watch shift until night. You grabbed that cookies box, picked one of the riffles and went up to the rooftop. At least the views from there were beautiful. You could see almost everything from up there, that was the point. But it was relieving to breathe fresh hair, and be a little away from the others and from the walkers courtyard. The silence was also nice. You opened the cookies box, and started eating, leaned on the rooftop wall.

After a while, the metallic sound of the door opening claimed your attention, you turned to see who it was, thinking it was too early for the relay.

"Wow" you smirked, seeing who it was "We must be really, REALLY in need of new men if the big man comes to do the next watch"

"Oh look... She knows to eat, and also to joke" he scoffed.

You rolled your eyes, and turned around, leaning again on the rooftop wall "What do you want?" she asked "I haven't informed of anything" and if everything was calm, there was no need for him to be up there.

"You're hurting me" he touched his chest dramatically "I came to see you, babe" he smirked, leaning on the rooftop wall too, but the way he could look at you "To see if you were alone..." he added, his gaze even darkened for a second.

"And with who I was supposed to be?" you asked, arching your eyebrow, looking at him, and finishing your cookie.

"Dwight"

Coughing, you nearly choked when you heard his response, and you touched your chest and neck in relief when the cookie went down your throat "Are you serious?" you asked in a husky voice. And couldn't help but start laughing, looking at him "Come on... Come on!" you yelled out of patience.

Negan's eyes narrowed, looking at you, serious.

"Even if I had something with him... What does it has to do with you?" you couldn't believe what he was saying "I can fuck whoever I want, it’s up to me!" just like he flirted and fucked with whoever he wanted or his wives or whatever.

"You're just a fucking kid!" Negan replied, yelling at you, his angry gaze reaching yours.

"What?" you let a dry laugh escape your lips "I'm not! I'm not a kid! This is not high school! And you're just..." you had to bit your tongue not to keep saying things that could drive him mad, like, real mad an angry. He hadn't his bat with him, but he could easy hit you with his hand and end you.

"I'm... What?" he walked towards you, making you walk backwards. Your back pressed against the wall "You're mine, don't you get it?" he hissed and grabbed you by the arms, firmly, pressing his fingers on your skin in a nearly painful grab.

"I'm your subordinate, not your wife" you tried to move to get rid of his grip, grunting, uselessly. Then again, your eyes meet his.

"You'll be whatever I want you to fucking be" he growled under his breath, his fingers tightening around your arms. His face just a few centimetres away from you. His warm breath mixed with yours, both irregular, because of the tension of the situation "Don't you get it, darling?" his smirk made him look like and insane man "You've always been mine, even in that stupid school days..." his lower lip raised in a disgust grimace "You owe me"

"I owe you?" you face went red, but this time because of the rage "You made my life a hell!" you yelled, trying to push him away "You mocked me! You ridiculized me all time! And I OWE you?!" you couldn't believe what he was saying, and his words were just driving you very, VERY mad.

"I wanted you to be strong! I wanted you to stand up and defend yourself from those assholes!"

"You were the asshole! YOU let everyone laugh and mock me!" your eyes widened, and then tears came to them, and you tried to hold them in your eyes "I wanted to die... Every fucking day! Because of you and those idiots you always encouraged to mock me!"

Negan's face coldened, looking at you, real hurt, finally exposing your feelings, how you felt back then, and how you felt in that moment. His grip softened, but you didn't had the will to pull him away, your body felt heavy and you could heard your heart beating fast in your chest. Your head felt about to collapse. Too many feelings scaping your control.

"Fuck" he muttered, and his eyes ran thought your face. Negan let go of you and you rested your head in the wall. And your eyes widened in surprise, when his hands took you by the cheeks, in a dominant yet soft way, and is lips pressed yours. Making you blush, and feeling that heaviness of your body disappear. He had a soft and masculine scent that filled all your senses, and his hands were soft, big and warm. And his lips against yours made you feel chills all over your body.

And you liked all of that.

"No..." you mumbled "Stop, stop..." you asked pulling him away with your hands on his chest. His firm and toned chest, one you could feel even with his shirt on "I--- I don't..." you gulped, not looking at him, your cheeks red and hot, feeling embarrassed.

That was your fucking first kiss!

As you ran away from him, Negan let out a deep sigh, and put his hand on the wall, lowering his head. Closed his eyes and pressed his scowl with two fingers "Control yourself" he grunted to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we'll know a bit more about Negan's past as a coach. And his feelings for the reader.

He had never planned to be a PE teacher, actually, he couldn't even stand teenagers. In his opinion they were selfish, ungrateful, many were spoiled and even cruel to others. However, like everything in life, many things could not be foreseen. He knew it well. Lucille got sick, everything happened so fast, and in no time had to quit her job, so taking that job as a PE teacher had been their only way out. With that job he had full health insurance for himself and her wife, otherwise they wouldn't have been able to cope with the extensive hospital bills.

While he started out as a PE teacher only, after a few months he was appointed assistant coach of the high school football team, and with the departure of the head coach at the end of his first year there, he had become the only coach of the team. The boys admired him, he himself had been a player in high school and in college too. And he knew cheerleaders were after him too. He wasn't a saint, he admitted it, in fact Lucille deserved better than a guy like him.

But in a few months, it wouldn't even matter, for she would be gone and he would have to move on.

His life had not been easy, he also had a complicated family. But in his case, it was his father who ran off with a roadside restaurant waitress. His mother had got sick when is dad left. Mental health problems, depression, and she also tried to commit suicide, twice. He had to take care of her, save her from herself. Until she died.

Probably that was what drew his attention of those outcast students, those who didn't fit with the jocks nor the cheerleaders. He tried to help them, in some way, but maybe it wasn't the right way. But as a coach there was nothing much he could do. He admitted to himself that that he was a jerk with some of these students, especially with her. She was so fragile that, somehow, all he wanted was for her to stand up to these jocks and cheerleaders, to be strong and defend herself. That she shouldn't be trampled on by anyone.

He was aware, now, that his methods weren't the best. He wasn't good at dealing with kids, even less with teens. And, in the end, he acted like his fucking father had treated him when he was just a kid. Pushing him to the edge, ridiculising him, driving him mad of anger. And that wasn't right.

All his life trying not to become a son of a bitch like his father, and, over time he had realized that he was just like him.

Everything he did... Cheating on Lucille... Being a bastard without feelings... Everything... Made him be like is fucking father...

Back then, he always saw her. She would arrive to high school early in the morning, alone. She sat down in the cafeteria to eat, alone. And she used to go back home after school... Alone.

One day he decided to follow her home, he didn't know why an smart girl, who did not mess with anyone, and whom he had sometimes seen talking with members of the theatre and audio-visual club, smiling when surrounded by people who did not make her feel like a freak; had no friends or wanted to be apart from everyone. Then that day when he followed her home, he saw him. She lived in a rather impaired house, and without even seeing her father, he knew what the situation was.

Maybe he should have approached her, ask her if she was okay, ask her if she needed help. But, by then, things were different. The situation was different.

And when he saw her that day at Hilltop, despite the fact that she had changed, that she was no longer a teenager, her face was the same, her eyes were the same, and her smile. He saw her smiling when talking with her friends, with her new family, she was happy. Happy, and not thanks to him. He also saw her strength, the will to fight, and that fire in her eyes, the one he would've liked to see on her when she was in high school. And since she agreed to join the Saviours, he had never seen her let herself be trampled on by anyone.

She had become a strong, brave woman. But also full of anger and pain. And the worst thing was that, in part, it was his fault.

Surely, she didn't know it, but the day of the apocalypse outbreak, when he managed to escape from the hospital which the walkers had completely invaded. His instinct was to go to high school, to look for her. He'd been absent from his classes for a week, Lucille had gotten worse quickly and he spent all that time by her side, until her last breath.

It was all chaos outside, and although she came back as a walker, he didn't had the guts to end her. To end Lucille, and just left the hospital, not looking back.

Just after he started looking for her. He looked for that fragile girl who had no one to protect her, to save her. That girl whose father was surely so drunk on the couch that he probably didn't even know what was going on in the world. That girl he felt, deep inside all this time, that he had to protect. But she wasn't anywhere, he couldn't find her. Not at the high school not at her home, where there was only the walking corpse of her father, whose head he smashed without thinking it twice. But, in the end, he couldn’t find her.

And he just moved on, surviving, fighting. And accepting that she was probably gone for good too. Like Lucille.

Maybe he should tell her everything? He didn't even know what he felt for her. He wanted to protect her; he still saw her as that student that everyone messed with. But at the same time, he saw her as a woman, attractive, strong, independent. A woman who didn't need him. That, in fact, hated him. But he wanted her. He wanted her to need him. He wanted her to want him.

He wanted to be her Saviour.

. . .

"Grimes will never surrender completely, you have to keep an eye on him ... We can use Dixon to keep him at bay, but I don't think that's enough" Dwight was right, Grimes was a leader, like Negan, even if they had Dixon, everyone knew that he would find a way to fuck them up.

For the first time in a long time, you didn't feel safe in the Sanctuary. Grimes seemed a reasonable man, but you were going to be seen as a traitor. Negan pulled you off from Hilltop against your will, and after a few days of moderate torture, you had finally decided to join the Saviours. Many would probably understand your reasons, they would understand that you probably had no other choice. In fact, they only offered you two options: be part of the Saviours, or be at the fence as a walker. In the end you had chosen life. How not to do it? After all that you had fought to be alive. After all the road travelled.

"Fuck the fucking Grimes" Negan snapped angrily "I'm fucking fed up of that arrogant" the funny thing was that Negan and Grimes were more alike than both would ever admit. But that was none of your business.

It had been in the wake of that meeting that Negan had decided to show up in Alexandria earlier than expected for the Grimes's group, taking you with him, alongside a truckload of men. When you got there, Rick wasn't even there, he was scavenging supplies, though it made sense, since Negan had barely left time for them to get hold of more supplies so they could deliver them to the Saviours.

"Aren't you happy, doll? You're going to see some of your old friends…” Negan said with an almost annoyed smile, you remained impassive, and you followed him with your eyes, seeing that sly smile on his face, with his tongue moistening his lower lip.

"I'm ecstatic" you replied sarcastically. And you followed him into the Grimes' house. You looked at Rick's son, Carl, you didn't know him personally, but you had seen him sometime in your visits to Alexandria, in fact, it was you who took some of his comics the last time.

"Take a look, I don't want any surprises" Negan ordered you firmly, pointing to the stairs. You nodded and walked up the stairs. It didn't seem like anyone was there, but you still went through all the rooms, one by one. You could tell they were starting a new life, and never thought you would see houses full of life again, with children and even babies. Although on second thought you have never lived in a house like this, much less full of happiness and rainbows.

You went back downstairs, and you shook your head when he looked at you "There are only the kids" you informed him, looking again at Carl and the little baby. Then your gaze fell on the short chubby woman, Olivia was her name, she seemed nice, although you could tell she was frightened in Negan's presence. Probably because she had heard all the stories about him and his stupid bat. You felt sorry for her, but Negan seemed more than delighted with the effect he had on her.

"I think it would be enjoyable to screw your brains out..." you heard him tell her, and you looked at Olivia with expectation, although on the inside you felt disgusted and wanted to hit that disrespectful idiot "... I mean, you know, if you’re agreeable to it" the slap that Olivia gave to Negan was heard throughout the entire room, you even jumped a little surprised, but your instinct wasn't to pick up your gun and shot her. In fact, it even seemed logical to you that she reacted that way. You too wanted to punch him.

A few days ago, he was kissing you on the rooftop of the Sanctuary, and now he was offering sex to some random woman, in front of you. It was pathetic. Although you felt more pathetic for thinking that that idiot would think of someone who was not himself. Egoistic asshole.

You couldn’t help it, and a mocking sound escaped between your lips, but shrugged when he looked at you with his eyebrow raised, defiantly, probably angry. Again, Negan leaned over Olivia, you saw her expression of terror, as she observed his mischievous and arrogant smile, dirty, but intimidating her with the closeness. "I'm about 50% more into you now..." Negan muttered to her, still smiling arrogantly "Just sayin '..." and then moved away from her to turn and look at you, smirking "She's so into me..." he told you confidentially.

Then you saw it clear. Was he trying to make you jealous? You couldn't believe it.

"Congratulations" you said with a fake smile "Do you need me for anything else?” you asked, coldly “I wouldn't want to disturb the happy couple” you added with an upset tone in your voice.

Negan laughed, amused and surely satisfied that he had managed to annoy you, and at looked at you, up and down, running his gaze through your body "Go intimidate everyone with your grumpiness," he said mockingly "But be careful with what you do, princess" he added, with a warning tone. Like if you were a child, and that upsetted you.

“Sure, prince” you replied, tempted to show him the middle finger, but knowing Negan would not tolerate this, not even from you, you just decided to go outside.

Alexandria was a different place, it was not like Hilltop, as Hilltop was more rural, more like a countryside luxury cabin. But Alexandria was like being in one of those affluent neighbourhoods. Quiet and peaceful, and was only disturbed by the presence of them, of Negan. You didn't feel good about that, about going there to take supplies from those people, everything they had fought for. After all, you were all survivors of the zombie apocalypse, you all had the right to live a good life.

Negan, on the other hand, didn't seem to see it that way. That's why you couldn't even try to understand him, because he reminded you of those bullies from high school, the ones who seemed to feel the need to mess with everyone.

You wouldn't mind living in a place like that, the truth was, the Sanctuary wasn't bad, but it was cold and dark, and you truly wouldn't mind living in a warm and comfy house. You had to admit that you missed those who had been your friends and family at Hilltop, but you were sure they must hate you for betraying them, for joining the Saviours.

You took a long deep breath, walking through the streets of Alexandria, there was no one around, but you could feel that they were watching you from their windows, probably worried and scared. That made you feel uncomfortable, bad, so you decided to go back to the Grimes' house. When you came in, Olivia, Carl and Negan were at the table, ready to eat spaghetti "Wow, you're back!" Negan exclaimed, happily, which caught your attention "Look Carl..." he said to the boy, who didn't even looked at you "Come on! Look at her! She's not the prom queen, but…” Negan winked at Carl, and you frowned, annoyed.

"Leave the kid alone" you said in a bored tone, you didn't want him to give Carl a hard time.

Negan laughed amused, he knew he was making you feel uncomfortable, and that amused him more. "Don't you want to eat with us, dear?" he asked you, looking at you over the back of the chair, seeing you sit on the couch. "No" you answered, lying on the couch, looking at the ceiling, and closed your eyes, listening to his sly laughter "Let's eat then" he said to Carl and Olivia.

. . .

Grimes came back after a couple of hours, surprised, of course, to see them there, to see Negan there. Things got ugly when that girl, Rosita Espinosa, tried to shoot Negan, but instead the bullet hit Lucille, which enraged Negan. Because of that, Olivia ended up shot in the head, and the Saviours taking Eugene with them, so he could make bullets for them. Despite everything, Negan was happy, because now he would have all the ammunition he wanted.

When you arrived to the Sanctuary, you went straight to your room, it was not too big, but you had a bed, wide and soft, a window through which you could see the landscape, and if you found something you liked when you went out scavenging, you could keep it. You even had one of those little game consoles, and a music reproducer. Sometimes you didn't understand why Negan let you behave as you wanted, you had never asked him, and he had never told you. You had noticed that he didn't treat you as harshly as the others, and you had simply taken advantage of it.

Your whole body ached, your back, especially, so carefully you began to remove your clothes, starting with the thick sweater, leaving it on the chair in the corner, and you took off the thin shirt too, also leaving it on the chair. You had some bruises that were visible as soon as your body was semi-naked, you were still wearing your bra, of course, but the bruises on your back were evident, and even a couple of scars, one on the belly, near the navel, and another on the clavicle. They had been deep wounds, so the scars were of a light pink shade.

"I came on time for the show..." you heard his voice and you turned around immediately, your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed red. And quickly you grabbed a pillow to cover yourself, and, as you did, you heard his mocking masculine laugh "Don't cover yourself, doll ..." he told you, his tongue passing over his lower lip as he eagerly watched you "You have nothing I haven't seen before ..." Negan added, licking his lips slowly, his eyes stopped on your breasts, although he could barely see them, and his gaze caressed your body slowly, as if he was eating you just with his look. The way he looked at you made you feel nervous, and made your cheeks blush even more.

"What do you want?" you asked him, urging him to leave.

"What? Can't I look at you?" he asked with annoyance "Does it bother you, that I look at you?" he inquired, moving a little closer to you. You didn’t know what to answer, what to do, so you kept looking at him, as if you expected him to suddenly do something.

"I don't-- ... I don't ..." you stammered, hesitating, and staring at the ground. You felt nervous and a little ashamed by being naked on his presence, by the way he was looking at you, dirty and lustfully "Please... Stop looking at me..." you barely pleaded with a small voice.

Negan's gaze softened, and when he approached you it wasn't in a threatening way. But slowly, and he gently took your chin with his long and strong fingers "I don't want to stop looking at you" he said in a whisper, forcing you to look into his eyes "And you don't have to cover yourself in front me doll..." his other hand reached over yours, making you to lower the pillow that covered your chest, just a little. And a satisfied, soft smile appeared on his mouth, while his fingers ran over your clavicle feeling the scar under his fingertips, but also your soft, young and warm skin "You are so fucking soft, doll" he told you in a whisper, his voice sounded husky, almost like a moan, and his breath was hitting your neck repeatedly when he talked and leaned over your skin. You trembled thinking that his lips were about to touch your skin, waiting for it to happen, wanting him to kiss it. Although just feeling the touch of his hands already made you shudder "... And so fucking hot, babe..." he murmured, and you felt the vibration of his lips on your skin. You let out a satisfied sigh.

His mouth approached your ear, and you felt his hand caress your hip, his fingers tighten in your skin, and with the other he caressed your neck, slowly and sensually. Your throat and mouth felt dry, you swallowed nervously, and Negan laughed in satisfaction with the effect he was having on you. His nose brushed your cheek, and you looked at him, he looked at you and smiled at you. You could see his bragging but sexy and even beautiful smile. You looked like a little animal blinded by a car lights, staring at him, and you licked your lips slowly. This was like having a glass of water in front of you and not being able to take a good drink. His thumb brushed your lower lip. It seemed like he was torturing you, but it was certainly a delicious torture to feel his closeness and the touch of him.

"If you only knew ..." he told you, almost with pain "... You wouldn't hate me that much..." that left you confused, not knowing what to think nor what to say. Although your head was already abuzz with questions. And then a throat clearing broke the moment, and Negan smiled, straightening, but not pulling away from you, and looked over his shoulder. "Simon… What the fuck do you want?" he asked annoyed.

"Excuse me, boss" said Simon "We have already accommodated Eugene ..." he informed "And as you told us that ..."

"Fine, I'll be there in a moment" Negan replied, cutting off Simon, who just left after your gazes met over Negan's shoulder. And you felt even more ashamed.

"I'm sorry, doll" he apologized, touching your cheek gently "I hope next time you will receive me with even less clothes ..." he let out a naughty laugh, and left a long and slow kiss on your cheek. You closed your eyes, letting yourself being trapped by his aroma and by his warmth, and finally your hand dared to touch his chest, his firm, warm and toned chest. He looked at you intensely and took your hand delicately, kissing your knuckles slowly, gently... You just looked away, blushing even more.

After that he left the room, and he also left you confused, blushed and nervous. What did he meant by “if you only knew”…?


End file.
